If you're saying “my child is a fussy eater and I just can't cope,” this article is for you. We all want our children to have a good relationship with food. It matters enormously — but eating is only one part of raising them. Try to bring them up open to new experiences, especially if you enjoy cooking and love seeing them eager at the table. Here are seven great strategies to bring some excitement back to mealtimes.
1. You're not a short-order cook
At mealtime you can say: “This is dinner tonight. You don't have to eat it, but there's nothing else for dinner.” That leaves them to choose between eating what's in front of them or waiting until the next meal. When planning meals, it helps to factor in your own tastes too; if you're trying a new recipe, make it once or twice to find the best version. Contrary to what many families fear, children won't get ill or come to lasting harm if they refuse a meal once or twice. Over time, if they keep skipping certain foods or “go on strike” against family meals, you can lean on strategies 5 and 6.
2. Be bold with flavour
It's true that children's taste buds are far more sensitive than ours — but that doesn't mean we should only ever serve them bland food. If anything, it's a reason to offer them lovely, flavourful meals, because it's when they're young that they should be tasting delicious food. For example, you might assume you should avoid garlic and that your child will hate olives — but olives can taste much nicer with a touch of garlic (something already present in the composition of breast milk). Marinate them with a little herbs and oil and they can become genuinely delicious. Give it a try.
3. Weave vegetables into food they love
Vegetables are the biggest hurdle for most parents. Boiled, salted veg is often little more than a side dish that ends up in the bin after the tastier food is gone — and it's no surprise children won't eat it. Begging and threats backfire fast, because the goal is for them to genuinely enjoy vegetables; otherwise mealtime becomes a battle of wills they'll always win. Instead, integrate vegetables into tasty dishes: add peas and aubergine to a meat dish, make a sauce from tomato, courgette and basil, or whip up plant-based pasta sauces. Another trick: put vegetables out as a side in the evening — as children get hungry, they'll start to eat them.
4. Try to eat dinner together
Research consistently shows that children who eat dinner with their parents eat more healthily, have richer vocabularies and even get better grades. Make time for it — but be realistic. Children can't sit at the table for long: about 5 minutes for a toddler and 15 minutes for a 4-year-old is perfectly good. Older children (out of the high chair) can leave the table once they've finished, but don't let them roam, play and interrupt the rest of the meal — they can go and play in the living room or their own room. When they genuinely want to, they'll come and sit back in their chair, and they'll be more attentive that way. Have your own mealtime rules too, so you can expect the same of them — for example, no answering the phone or watching TV during the meal.
5. Draw on your own experience
Some foods can trigger nausea or gagging in your child. Many parents remember the same from their own childhood and understandably don't want their children to go through it. It can be genuinely hard to tell the difference between disgust and stubbornness — but if a particular dish really does turn your child's stomach, you can spare them by letting them know they don't have to finish that plate.
6. If you've tried everything and it still didn't work, carry on without guilt
Children don't always love cooked food — but mealtimes shouldn't become torture. When you start placing a little of several foods around the edge of their plate, they end up eating a bit of everything, and without sulking or digging in their heels. Keep the pressure low: offer small amounts, keep exposing them gently to new foods, and let repeated, no-stress exposure do the work over time. (It's best to avoid turning dessert into a bribe or pitting siblings against each other — pressure tactics tend to backfire in the long run.)
7. Keep sweets out of the main meal
Telling yourself and your child to never eat dessert isn't realistic — and the fact that most sweets aren't especially nutritious doesn't change the fact that they're delicious. So the best approach here is to favour milk-based desserts, and to bring dessert out after the meal rather than during it, so it doesn't get in the way of the main course.
Merve Tığlı, Specialist Dietitian